The YTT asked girls how they develop confidence and here are the top 10 things they said:
- Encouragement from friends (inside and outside of school)
- Encouragement from parents
- Exposure to healthy gender norms (in activities, media and community)
- Feeling that you are accepted
- Figuring out how not to care what others think / say
- Make your own decisions
- Don’t be afraid of who you are, own it!
- Positive role models
- Finding the support to do what you want
- Always having a positive attitude
So then we asked, if you wanted to develop confidence and you knew these were the ingredients of the secret recipe, what changes could you make tomorrow to increase your feelings of self-confidence?
“The one specific thing i would do to develop confidence, and this may sound weird, I would go out and talk to people. I used to be REALLY shy and insecure. I always thought people thought I was a weirdo and a loser. I used to dread talking to new people for these reasons. l one day I realized that everybody is only human, we are all the same. If you want to talk to some one, you just go up and do it. ”
“Similar to being free from stereotypes, I would probably be more expressive about my opinions and my ideas. I would probably not feel as self-conscience of “over-participation” in a discussion (I tend to talk a lot :D) and not second-guess myself when I am sharing my ideas with a group of people that are possibly more intelligent or experienced that I am.”
“You need to change how you think, so that it doesn’t matter what other people think. If you accept what other people say, there’ll always be someone bringing you down. You need to listen to yourself, not someone else.”
“Healthy gender norms are still hard to find in most media, but are slowly increasing, you would probably have to cut a lot of media out of your life. You control how you feel about yourself, so making slow, healthy changes in lifestyle and attitude would obviously help. You would have to pick out the toxic relationships you have in your life and end them, only keep around those who make you feel good about yourself and comfortable.”
“I’d stop putting so much weight into what people (mostly guys) around me say.”
“I guess first I’d stop putting so much weight into what people (mostly guys) around me say. I think maybe I’d get rid of some of my friends, hard as it may be. I know that some of the things they say and do change me, and not for the better. I suppress things that some of them wouldn’t consider cool. I think before all that, I’d find a female teacher that I really look up to, that I can talk to.”
“To build up my confidence I would give myself pep talks and give other people compliments to build their confidence. I feel that if I build other people’s confidence, it will influence me to be confident as well.”
“Today I had an audition for dancing for a company that’s recruiting people. And yesterday, I looked myself in the mirror, and told myself I can do it. I became nicer to other’s which definitely became a habit and it made me gain more confidence within self confidence.”
“If I wanted to increase my self confidence I would pay more attention to what positive things my peers would tell me and I would embrace that and emphasize it to the best I can. I would trust in myself more and I would trust in the people around me… I would acknowledge my talents and improve on those and I would block all negativity from my life. I would surround myself with supportive, happy, positive, and extroverted people (because they tend to make me laugh and smile).”